31.7.06

working draft / as long as this evening lasts

As Long as This Evening Lasts

One James Wright walking
a moonless, smoky, November field
with Ohio River slosh for soundtrack
– skies sagging toward winter –

is better than two Homers,
crossing the Aegean
in a slap of sea to hull,
the war ahead of them,
the words not yet memorized.

4 comments:

beLLe said...

lol~~
witty and creative~~~
more please~

BTW~ thanx for visiting...I appreciate the comments you leave on my poems...they (the poems) are pretty much raw ..unedited emotion on the page...and I rarely ever edit anything...so, i know it works for me...but often don't think many people in the room can relate to my ramblings...so it's great to get the feedback~

~beLLe

Arlene said...

this is a beaut, sam! "Ohio River slosh for soundtrack" just strokes my creative fur right. purrrrr!

a.

James Owens said...

Beautiful language, in its pull toward the elegiac. I love the soundplay in the two contrasting noises water makes here, "slosh/slap," highlighting the contrast between the two poets. Subtle convincing skill.

I'm worried about the valuing of Wright over Homer, though -- or what I take to the the Wright-ish kind of (imagist, deep image) poetry over the Homer-ish sort with its implied ties to war. I'm not sure the comparison is valid. Certainly, if that imagistic strain in modern poetry is traced back to Japan/China (as I believe it should be), then it arises out of a cultural context just as violent as Homer's. The Japanese poetic image is rooted in Samurai death poems (and that "moonless, smoky, November field" insists that I recall Basho's death poem: "As for soul, it wanders the withered field," which also participates in that tradition. The poem invites us to trace Wright's poetics back to Japan.)

Another way of saying this: I wonder if comparing Wright and Homer (and what they stand for) inside an imagistic poem unfairly loads the dice against Homer???

sam of the ten thousand things said...

Thanks belle, Arlene, and James for reading. I appreciate your comments.

And James, I have loaded the dice-- by design. And that's a risky move in the war of lyric vs. epic. Basho, as you say, does present an interesting possibility.